The Stir: 7 Sneaky Ways to Win an Argument With Your Husband

Written by Adriana Velez on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

It's another Monday night, and you're just getting home. Your kids are whining about something, dinner has to be made, and your husband is doing that thing that always pisses you off. So you start arguing with each other. Wouldn't you love to learn how to win that argument for once? And quickly?

A recent article in The New York Times revealed some surprising negotiating tactics that can help you win. And by "win" I mean win-win, for both of you. (You knew that, right?) Because hopefully your ultimate goal as a couple is peace, love, and understanding. So get out your cushions, couples -- I'm not kidding.

1. Watch out for transitions. Researchers say the biggest fights happen when family members are either saying hello or goodbye: When you're trying to get the kids off to school, when you're coming home from work, when you're trying to get the kids off to bed. The worst time is between 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. So be aware of that, and if you find yourself getting testy during a transition, bite your tongue and save that argument for a better time.

2. Sit at the same level. Weird, but true -- the levels where you sit or stand can influence your argument. If you're both at the same level, you're more likely to deal with each other as equals.

3. Get comfy. Another weird one -- people are more flexible during an argument or discussion if they're sitting in soft chairs or sofas than when they're sitting on hard chairs.

More From Our Partners: The Top 5 Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

4. Set a timer. Apparently people make the most important points in their opening statements. After that, people end up just repeating themselves and yelling. So it actually helps to set a time limit (make sure each person gets equal time). If you haven't reached an agreement, call a time-out and take a five-minute break before getting back together again.

These tips were all new to me. Here's a couple more that I've tried and found worked pretty well.

5. Make gentle physical contact. If you haven't reached the boiling point, sometimes holding hands or even touching toes can help you feel connected even if you're not seeing eye to eye at the moment.

6. Don't use his talking time to prep your arguments. When he's explaining his side of things, do you ever find yourself tuning him out and planning what you'll say next? You really need to stop and hear your partner. Pause after he finishes talking if you need time to think about your response.

7. Stop what you're doing. This is no time to multitask. If you and your husband have something important to discuss, you both need to give it your full attention. Don't fold laundry and argue at the same time. Even if you think you can still listen, it gives the message that your relationship and the conflict aren't worth your full attention -- and it makes your spouse feel like you're not listening.

Do you have any other negotiating tactics that have worked for you?

More from The Stir:

7 Things You Should Consider Before Getting Back Together With Your Ex

14 Ways You Can Tell He's 'Husband Material'

Here's How Much a Divorce REALLY Costs

What NOT to Say to Your Spouse If You Want to Stay Married (VIDEO)

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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-stir/7-sneaky-ways-to-win-an-a_b_3134402.html

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Lindsay Lohan checks in to Betty Ford clinic

LOS ANGELES (AP) ? Lindsay Lohan has checked into a rehab and will not face a probation violation for leaving another treatment facility after a few minutes, a prosecutor said Friday.

Santa Monica Chief Deputy City Attorney Terry White said he has received confirmation that Lohan has checked in to a rehab facility and he is satisfied with her location. He declined to say where Lohan is receiving treatment, but a source close to the actress who was not authorized to speak publicly said she has checked in to the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif.

The "Liz & Dick" star is required to spend 90 days in rehab as part of a plea deal in a misdemeanor case filed after a June car accident.

Lohan has also re-hired longtime attorney Shawn Holley to handle her case. White said he was in contact with Holley on Thursday evening after hours of uncertainty about the actress' whereabouts.

Attorney Mark Jay Heller told a judge during a hearing Thursday that Lohan had checked in to a different rehab facility, but the starlet left it after a few minutes.

White was given several days to investigate that facility, which a state official said was not licensed to perform residential drug or alcohol rehab treatment.

Lohan's sentence called for her to spend three months at a lockdown rehab facility and also receive 18 months of psychotherapy to avoid a return to jail.

She pleaded no contest in March to lying to police and reckless driving.

Lohan has spent time at Betty Ford before. She served another mandatory rehab sentence at the treatment center, although her stay there was not without drama. Lohan, 26, got into an altercation with a rehab worker and within weeks of her release was charged with taking a necklace from a Los Angeles jewelry store without permission.

Lohan remains on probation in the theft case.

Holley has represented Lohan throughout numerous court proceedings, but the actress opted to have Heller, a New York lawyer unversed in California law, represent her in recent months.

___

Anthony McCartney can be reached at http://twitter.com/mccartneyAP

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/lindsay-lohan-checks-betty-ford-clinic-151114826.html

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PFT: Reid says Albert to play LT, Fisher to be RT

AP

NFL teams have different options when it comes to filling out the quarterback depth chart.? They can have an unquestioned starter and obvious backups, or they can throw the quarterbacks in a blender and see who earns the job.

Or they can pretend to have a clear-cut starter and undermine him with a backup who says he supports the starter but actually wants to take his job.

That?s what the Jets did last year by adding Tim Tebow to the team.? Even though Tebow tried to say and do all the right things on multiple occasions, he wanted to play.? Which means that he wanted Sanchez to not play.

On Thursday, Sanchez reflected on their relationship, making it clear that there was tension.

?If you were Tim?s agent or my agent, would you say that?s the absolutely best position for either of us?? Probably not,? Sanchez told reporters.? ?Tim wanted to play, I wanted to play, only one guy plays at this position.? So I guess it wasn?t the most advantageous, but that?s the way things happen. We both competed [with] our best, tried to be the best of friends we could, and honestly under different circumstances we would be really good friends, it?s just hard when you?re competing like that.? There?s just a professionalism about it that you don?t get too close to guys like that.? You?re just professional, and you?re cool and if the guy has a flat tire on the side of the road, I?m going to stop, I?m not just going to blow by him, but at the same time, I?m not sending him gifts on his birthday or anything.?

This year, the Jets have abandoned the fa?ade, embracing the notion that not just Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith but all five quarterbacks currently on the roster are competing.? Which means that Sanchez will view the rookie the same way he regarded Tebow.

?I don?t see why it would be any different,? Sanchez said.? ?I will help [Smith] out as much as I can, but when we have to compete, we have to compete, that?s the way it goes.?

Which means that the quarterback position will continue to display dysfunction, with five guys clamoring for one job.? While competition could make the guy who emerges from the scrum better, like so many quarterback controversies the guy who wins the job for Week One essentially becomes the guy who wins the privilege of being the first one to get benched.

That?s why the far better approach for any NFL team is to have a starter and obvious backups.? It keeps the locker room from picking sides, the media from stirring up trouble, and the fans from ripping their hair out.

Eventually, that could happen for the Jets, with Smith getting the job once he?s deemed ready to handle it.? Until then, the Jets will keep Sanchez and his guaranteed salary of $8.25 million around, because they?ll be paying him whether he?s on the team or not.

Which means that, essentially, the Jets have done a 180 from 2012.? Last year, they pretended there wasn?t a competition when in fact there really was one.? This year, the organization has launched a competition with an obvious preferred winner in mind.

Source: http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/05/02/reid-says-albert-will-play-left-tackle-fisher-will-play-right/related/

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Entering the market? Business model trumps business plan.

We should really use the business model to guide our launch and early development of the venture, Cornwall writes. It is a tool that makes change and updating simple and highly effective.

By Dr. Jeffrey R. Cornwall,?Guest blogger / May 3, 2013

A man stands in front of a bike store in Fredericksburg, Va. Both the business model and the business plan are important tools for the entrepreneur's arsenal, Cornwall writes.

Suzanne Carr Rossi/The Free Lance-Star/AP/File

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There has been a growing debate about business plan versus business model. ?The lines are being drawn. ?However, I would chime in to say that both sides of this debate are right, and sides are both wrong. ?To mix metaphors, let?s not throw the baby out with the bath water, even though that may be one ugly baby!

Skip to next paragraph Dr. Jeffrey R. Cornwall

Jeff is the Jack C. Massey Chair in Entrepreneurship and Director of the Center for Entrepreneurship at Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn.

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We have moved to much more of a focus on business modeling here at Belmont University. ?Why? ?Because my own experience as an entrepreneur and as an entrepreneurship educator is that the business plan is just a tool.

In that past, we did not teach much about business models because they were considered to be something that each of us developed a skill for in our own way. ?So we taught what is easiest to teach ? something concrete and easy to evaluate. ?A business plan has a format and a process that lends itself to educational settings, especially considering that many who teach entrepreneurship have never launched a business and have not really learned to develop business models.

But then a few years ago, some valid and elegantly simple tools came along to help conceptualize and teach business models. ?The most popular of these is Osterwalder?s Business Model Canvas. ?But there are many others coming out and many are trying to improve upon Osterwalder?s work. ?Since we have started using more of these tools, our students here at Belmont now can much more easily conceptualize a business model. ?They can see all of the moving parts and identify things that just don?t make sense before the codify it into a business plan.?

Fossil of great ape sheds light on evolution

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Researchers who unearthed the fossil specimen of an ape skeleton in Spain in 2002 assigned it a new genus and species, Pierolapithecus catalaunicus. They estimated that the ape lived about 11.9 million years ago, arguing that it could be the last common ancestor of modern great apes: chimpanzees, orangutans, bonobos, gorillas and humans. Now, a University of Missouri integrative anatomy expert says the shape of the specimen's pelvis indicates that it lived near the beginning of the great ape evolution, after the lesser apes had started to develop separately but before the great ape species began to diversify.

Ashley Hammond, a Life Sciences Fellow in the MU Department of Pathology and Anatomical Sciences, is the first to examine the pelvis fragments of the early hominid. She used a tabletop laser scanner attached to a turntable to capture detailed surface images of the fossil, which provided her with a 3-D model to compare the Pierolapithecus pelvis anatomy to living species.

Hammond says the ilium, the largest bone in the pelvis, of the Pierolapithecus catalaunicus is wider than that of Proconsul nyanzae, a more primitive ape that lived approximately 18 million years ago. The wider pelvis may be related to the ape's greater lateral balance and stability while moving using its forelimbs. However, the fingers of the Pierolapithecus catalaunicus are unlike those of modern great apes, indicating that great apes may have evolved differently than scientists originally hypothesized.

"Pierolapithecus catalaunicus seemed to use a lot of upright behaviors such as vertical climbing, but not the fully suspensory behaviors we see in great apes alive today," Hammond said. "Today, chimpanzees, orangutans, bonobos and gorillas use forelimb-dominated behaviors to swing below branches, but Pierolapithecus catalaunicus didn't have the long, curved finger bones needed for suspension, so those behaviors evolved more recently."

Hammond suggests researchers continue searching for fossils to further explain the evolution of the great apes in Africa.

"Contrary to popular belief, we're not looking for a missing link," Hammond said. "We have different pieces of the evolutionary puzzle and big gaps between points in time and fossil species. We need to continue fieldwork to identify more fossils and determine how the species are related and how they lived. Ultimately, everything is connected."

The study, "Middle Miocene Pierolapithecus provides a first glimpse into early hominid pelvic morphology," will be published in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Human Evolution. The Department of Pathology and Anatomical Sciences is in the MU School of Medicine. Co-authors included David Alba from the Autonomous University of Barcelona in Spain and the University of Turin in Italy, Sergio Alm?cija from Stony Brook University in New York, and Salvador Moy-Sol from the Miquel Crusafont Institute of Catalan Palaeontology at Autonomous University of Barcelona.

###

University of Missouri-Columbia: http://www.missouri.edu

Thanks to University of Missouri-Columbia for this article.

This press release was posted to serve as a topic for discussion. Please comment below. We try our best to only post press releases that are associated with peer reviewed scientific literature. Critical discussions of the research are appreciated. If you need help finding a link to the original article, please contact us on twitter or via e-mail.

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Source: http://www.labspaces.net/128094/Fossil_of_great_ape_sheds_light_on_evolution

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May Day protests: From Bangladesh to Europe, angry workers rally in the tens of thousands

But this year's May Day demonstrations come on the heels of the tragic Bangladesh factory collapse, a potent symbol for many of the importance of workers' rights.

By Ryan Lenora Brown,?Correspondent / May 1, 2013

Workers and protesters hold a huge banner march to the government office during a May Day rally in Hong Kong, Wednesday. Hundreds of workers, local labor right groups, and striking dockworkers join the annual rally to demand better wages and working conditions.

Vincent Yu/AP

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In Dhaka, Bangladesh, a raucous crowd descended on the city center with signs and drums, chanting and waving banners demanding the death penalty for the owner of a factory where more than 400 people died in a building collapse last week.

Skip to next paragraph Ryan Lenora Brown

Correspondent

Ryan Brown edits the Africa Monitor blog and contributes to the national and international news desks of the Monitor. She is a former Fulbright fellow to South Africa and holds a degree in history from Duke University.?

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In Jakarta, Indonesia, some of the tens of thousands of demonstrators marching through the city came dressed as ants ? complete with bright red outfits and antennae ? to depict the exploitation of workers.?

And in Greece, trains, buses, and ferries sat vacant and hospitals nearly empty as thousands of public sector employees walked off the job in a one-day strike.

Each year, May 1, better known as May Day, is marked with labor rallies and strikes around the world. And this year's holiday came at a particularly prescient moment in many parts of the world.?

From Europe, where the bite of austerity has left many facing down unemployment and reduced benefits, to South and Southeast Asia, a region cluttered with precariously-built factories similar to the one that collapsed last week in Bangladesh, demonstrators gathered to vent outrage and demand reform.

?My brother has died. My sister has died. Their blood will not be valueless,? yelled one Bangladeshi protestor through a crackling loudspeaker, according to the Associated Press.

As the march wove through downtown Dhaka, rescue workers in the industrial suburb of Savar continued their search for bodies and survivors in the rubble of Rana Plaza, which collapsed suddenly on April 24 with thousands of garment workers inside.

The disaster at the factory, which manufactured clothing for several low-end Western retailers, touched off global outrage about the working conditions of garment workers across the developing world. In Phnom Pehn, Cambodia, workers rallied for higher wages and safer working conditions. In Manila, Philipines, where labor unions are banned, workers marched to demand the right to organize. And in Hong Kong, thousands turned out in support of striking dock workers, calling for wages that would help close the income gap between the country?s rich and its poor.

And that was all before Europe woke up.

There has "never been a May 1 with more reason to take to the streets,? one Spanish union leader told Reuters during a march in Madrid this morning, where protestors carried signs reading "austerity ruins and kills" and "reforms are robbery.? (Read the Monitor's feature about how Spaniards are increasingly flocking to the countryside to cut costs and find new jobs.)

In Greece, where the government recently announced that it would lay off 180,000 civil servants over the next two years ? the first such cuts in 100 years ? a strike shut down public transit across Athens. ?

And in France, which saw unemployment rose again last month, marchers carried banners reading, ?It?s too much! Alternatives exist? and ?Where are the real socialists in our government??

An exception to the doom and gloom of this year?s May Day was Russia, where a festive celebration of the holiday harks back to Soviet times. Indeed, many of those who gathered in the streets of Moscow were buoyant, Euronews reported.

?The atmosphere is excellent. It?s a holiday for us, the beginning of something new, bright, and joyful,? one demonstrator told reporters.

May 1 is a national holiday in some 80 countries around the world, and its ties to labor advocacy date back to 1886, when American police killed 10 protestors at a rally for an eight-hour workday in Chicago?s Haymarket Square. International socialist organization and labor unions declared it a day of commemoration and action soon after.

Ironically, however, May Day is not celebrated in the United States. In the early 1890s, fearing the ?socialist? overtones of the holiday, President Grover Cleveland quickly declared an alternate holiday, beginning the American tradition of celebrating Labor Day on the first Monday of September.?

Source: http://rss.csmonitor.com/~r/csmonitor/globalnews/~3/kAIVFhNRNbc/May-Day-protests-From-Bangladesh-to-Europe-angry-workers-rally-in-the-tens-of-thousands

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